Category Archives: pandemic 2020

Being Far Away from Family During this Pandemic is Rather Challenging

Oh, how I wish I were near

to my family near and dear

This time being abroad can be hard

since we don’t know when next we will see yard…

This pandemic has brought home just how nice it would be to be nearer family. The very thought of having them nearby would offer some comfort. Again, I am so appreciative of all these technological innovations, which allow me to lie in bed and catch up with my uncle on WhatsApp for over an hour, for example. This really helps to give some balance to a time when all seems out of kilter. It is really the small things that water our souls and keep us well.

Living abroad and being away from family is never a ‘bed of roses’. What helps is being able to fly back and visit to catch up, make new memories and just be with them. This is one of the things I am missing this year and my mind is still dealing with this. The daily texts, long video chats and conversations do help a whole lot. I am grateful.

We can be there for each other even though we are many miles apart. Connections with people are very important, to help us all make it through this pandemic with our minds intact and healthy. It is quite disconcerting to read of how many people are projected to suffer mentally and emotionally during all of this. I was also sad to see a thread on Twitter where people are still spouting off about true friends not needing to be in contact often. Many share that this works for them but how about those who need more? People can be on their phones for hours but take forever to respond to a text or even just message a friend they care about. I know people have social anxieties and there are other factors at work, of course. However, just one quick message may lift someone’s spirit at this time. Remember friends, family and acquaintances who live alone and may be far from family.

I so appreciate the friends I have here who will text me or just call me up just because. I am picking up and dropping everything else as much as I can. Life is precious, short and we just don’t know, so I am seizing the days (Carpe diem!). Is it just me that likes to see a call coming through on WhatsApp, Line and other apps? Props to my friends who take the time for us to plan and schedule ‘meetings’ on Zoom and Google Meet. These little things mean a whole lot. It may just be that many of us are single and live abroad, far away from family.

Small groups at church are also such a blessing – in normal times of course but now too. I have always been in an online small group, with my some people from church because of different factors. It is such a blessing to catch up with each other every week and study the scriptures as we encourage each other. Our online chat group is also great for keeping up with each other throughout the week. People need people and I hope we can all find some people, to be our people, as we go through and live life.

So yes, living abroad and being far away from family is especially challenging in 2020. However, we are able to communicate often and at leisure to encourage each other and be present. It takes time and coordination but people are worth it and we give and receive so much in our interactions.

Take some time to be there for family and friends

I know sometimes we may be at our wits’ end

But take some time to send

a message or few to those who are in your crew.

Travelling Anywhere is on the Back burner for a while

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It’s enough for me to leave my house from Monday to Friday, ride the train for a few minutes and go to work. I just can’t imagine travelling anywhere right now. For me, travelling anywhere, is on the back burner for a while.

Travelling is a privilege, in the best of times in my view. By this, I mean leisure travels of course. I am very aware that there are numerous people who depend on the travel industry for their living. I am from Jamaica where the travel industry is pivotal to the country’s GDP. I also know of people who work in this industry, who are suffering from the fall out as a result of this pandemic. It is heart wrenching to no end, so I understand why some travelling during this time is important. It is really like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

Why I have no plans to travel for this year

The big plan for December 2020 was to visit Ghana for the first time. Everything was set and I had all but booked my flight. Getting from Japan to Ghana would mean at least a 12 hour flight somewhere, with a stopover, then another flight of over 5 hours to get there. I am not the most enthusiastic flier at the best of times, so I do not see how I can comfortably wear a mask for those hours. In addition, how would this affect my already jet lag prone self? It is a lot to wrap my mind around mentally, so that plan is on pause until some point later.

I would so love to go to Jamaica and see family in December. However, I am wary of infections rising in these colder months and what it will mean for travelling with stopovers in different countries. I also do not have enough time to quarantine and be there to catch up with others. Hence, this too is on the back burner and I am sure hoping I can go next year. I am so thankful for all this communication technology because if this had happened 14 years ago, when I just came here, it would have been really hard.

Am I paranoid? I see people I know taking jaunts here and there on this archipelago. Again, travelling anywhere is out for me. Some say it’s the best time to enjoy Japan because the country is closed to tourists from outside the country. I just can’t get up the interest to go off exploring and it may just be that I have explored quite extensively over the last decade here. I am not even eating in restaurants since I am not taking any chances. I am also someone who have always liked making my meals at home. Again, I know there is a valid point that we need to do what we can to prop up these industries…catch 22. I do have take out from time to time to contribute in this way.

Can we travel responsibly in this pandemic?

It is no longer just a case of buying travel insurance and going off to explore on a whim. Well, at least not for me. One has to be hyperaware of their safety to protect themselves and others. This is challenging in familiar spaces much less the strange places we encounter on our travels.

I do think some people can and are travelling responsibly at this time. I am also pleased to see how industry players and businesses are pivoting to ensure the safety of travellers. I however, see pictures of the airport in Cancun, with a bunch of tourists trying to flee the island before the hurricane and I cringe. Thankfully, people are in masks but there is little to no social distancing. I am not ready for the uncertainty that comes with travelling outside my bubble. This is something that each person has to decide on of course. I would love to read some tips on travelling during the pandemic. I have watched some videos but they mostly focus on the flight and getting through airports.

Travelling is firmly on the back burner

This is something I know for sure. Much of this may be because my travel appetite had been quenching a bit over the last few years. I really do not enjoy flying, especially since all the places I want to explore are far away on the African continent. A flight to Jamaica is also pretty far and involves going through all the hiccups.

With all this, travelling for leisure is definitely something that is firmly on the back burner for a while. I am still taking time to follow what is happening in the industry and preparing for when I will fly to Jamaica to see family and friends. This I will not delay indefinitely.

I pray peace and protection for all who are working in the travel industry. I see the airline workers being furloughed and losing jobs. I hope we can all get back to travelling and propping up each other’s livelihoods soon.

It is ok to be lonely and tackle it intentionally

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Listen, as a single person living alone, it is easy for loneliness to creep up out of nowhere and take over. Being alone is not synonymous with loneliness and even those who live with a bunch of other folks can be lonely.

Even the most introverted person may suffer bouts of loneliness, since the options to go out and get our people fix are far different than they were in the past. It is ok to feel lonely, we are human beings and need human interaction to varying degrees, for our personality type. My major love language is quality time. I don’t wait for those near and dear to mete it out, I actively facilitate this. It is simple, if you reach out and engage others they will often reciprocate, especially those who are for you.

Accept that you are lonely

For some reason, it has become this belief that something is wrong with you if you say you are lonely. Being lonely is just a feeling which means you need to relate with other humans in some form. This makes us better people in my opinion. It is s a sure fire way to keep us in tune with others and not shut ourselves completely off from everyone forever. As we know not everyone in our lives can fill our lonely moments. These are usually sated by being with those we have close bonds with; people who we can just chill and be at peace with.

There ought to be people in our lives who we can reach out to and just say, “Can we chat for a bit, I am feeling lonely right now and I want some company.” If there is no one like that in our lives, we need to address this because we need these kinds of connections.

Getting our people fix in the midst of the 2020 pandemic

Picnics have become trendy again and are great for hanging out with dear ones and social distancing. These are great since they are outside and everyone can bring their own food and sanitary items. People also play different games or just sit, listen to music and chat in the great outdoors. We can appreciate our relationships more, now that we have to put more effort into being more responsible while hanging out with others.

I have always been into epic chats and/or calls on Skype, WhatsApp, Line and so on way before this pandemic. I live far away from family and many bonafide friends, so this is a must. Make plans and carve out time to spend catching up with people and really getting in touch. It does the heart, mind and soul well at all times.

Another great thing to do is just to hang out with friends one on one in open places just to chat and chill. It could be at a common train station or bus stop that’s convenient for both of you. The important thing is to see others and spend some time with each other. Things have changed but we can still touch base with others and be there literally and figuratively.

Know what triggers your loneliness and stay away from them

I mean sometimes you may not be able to guard against this but do what you can. Many of us single people, who desire to be in a relationship may find ourselves being lonely after seeing couples cosied up on different social media platforms. Before you know it, loneliness has crept up and you experience melancholy.

Also know that the feeling usually passes, even though, when in the thick of it, it feels all consuming. When this happens, it is good to do things that take your mind off the loneliness: exercising, cooking, blogging, painting,doing your budget and whatever works for you. Look for the way out and don’t just give into loneliness and despair.

Don’t feed the feeling of loneliness

When bouts of loneliness come, it is not time to play all those sad and sappy songs that just intensify the emotions.

Encourage yourself with words from the Bible, tap into your joy and speak it over yourself. Put on some lively music and dance like David danced. If nothing else you would have gotten a good workout.

Also don’t go jumping back into negative relationships – whether romantic or platonic- because of loneliness. Go to those who have your back and who you will be happy you got closer to in these times of loneliness. Since, when the heights of loneliness take over we can lose the rationale part of ourselves, let’s know who we will lean on before it strikes. Cultivate relationships with people that allow you to not hesitate to reach out and have them be there for you.

Again, it is ok to feel lonely and to share this with your loved ones, so they can help. We do life most effectively when we partner with others to give and receive, emotionally, mentally and otherwise.

2020 is reminding me to take pleasure in the simple things

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It’s summer break for me now and it was a long time in coming. The usual month of summer break was whittled down to two weeks. This was so we could make up time at school, for all the online classes we had at the start of the school year because other schools who were less organised, didn’t have classes for two months. Suffice it to say I was ready.

As the responsible homebody that I am, who is a big fan of self isolating, my plan is to spend many hours stretched out on my couch reading. My little heart is oh so excited. I have no less than 8 books lined up from our library at school and my kindle at the ready, if I needed, to up that number. I just love escaping into the world of a book and learning all kinds of things. The time flies with a page turner I tell you, though the emotional roller coaster some of these books take you on is no joke.

Today a read the book Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi. It’s a rich text that sheds light on a perspective of slavery that is often not addressed. This is the fact that Africans were sold into slavery after being taken as captives by warring tribes. Her style is flawless and she grips your attention and makes you feel the characters, the setting and takes you from time period to time period through generations. It was really lovely, to delve into this masterful piece for a few hours and pass day one of summer break, self isolating all by myself, in my own space. It was truly therapeutic.

I am also loving being able to make all my meals at home. I enjoy cooking, sometimes twice a day, to get in some nice whole foods. Today I made a lovely veggie stew with boiled potatoes on the side. Adding balsamic vinegar to stews just takes them up a notch. Try it if you haven’t done so yet. It’s quite easy to eat and eat all day at home so, I bought healthy snacks to keep myself in check: watermelon, apples, kiwi and bananas. YUM!

It’s also nice to have time on a weekday to catch up with friends and family in different times zones. I mean everything from texting to having epic calls for hours. I love it. There is no time to feel lonely, though I live alone.

I see my apartment as my safe space that helps me to keep mentally well in these uncertain times. Like I do for weekends, I went shopping to get a range of things I wanted to have, so I wouldn’t be tempted to run to the supermarket nearby at the drop of a hat. This is actually a habit I have mastered over several years now. I like doing one big grocery shop on a Thursday of Friday for the week. I plan out my menu for the week so I know what to buy.

I also enjoy doing some dancing here and there throughout the day to get some exercise. I squat, do lounges, standing abs and random stuff to move throughout the day when I go to the bathroom. I don’t want to just be a couch potato.

So yeah, for a normal summer break I would be off somewhere exploring our beautiful world but this year I have to be still. I am not miserable and I am being intentional about enjoy this time. I am relaxing, resting and keeping my mind fresh and active. This is self-care and I am here for this. Thanks 2020 for forcing me to remember to enjoy the some of the simple things in life.

Are you keeping your hopes and dreams alive?

Pivoting Mentally with These Unprecedented Times

Wear Mask, Wash Hands, Social Distance…Is this the New Normal?

This Graced Life

Living by Grace and doing so Gracefully.