Category Archives: single Christian woman

Resolve to be Joyful though Single

Trying to meet an individual, who you can cultivate an intimate, God centred relationship with, is like looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack. It can wear you down and steal your JOY. Don’t let it.

It’s quite normal to want to get married and build a life with someone.

It’s ok to have moments of frustration and impatience.

We are humans after all. Waiting year after year and not seeing our dreams and hopes realized in this regard is indeed jarring.

Some may ask or pester you repeatedly about why you are single or about when you are getting married. My favourite response is to ask them, to point me to the store where I can find a husband.

We are more than our singleness.

If you are putting yourself out there: socializing in different places, exploring dating sites and such, you are doing what you can.

Live your life while doing all this:

  • Join with other singles and do stuff: dinner, movies, karaoke, travel and whatever works for you.
  • Encourage yourself with the fact that God is faithful, he sees you and is really in control of your life.
  • Travel solo and explore new or old familiar places.
  • Do some online courses and or go after further education opportunities.
  • Blog
  • Give of your time and talents in different avenues.
  • Be still and learn to enjoy your own company.
  • Date but don’t settle out of desperation. The cliche makes sense – it’s better to be single and happy than married and miserable.

I don’t know about you but I am content with my life. There are some triggers. I think all singles have their unique triggers. It pays to know them and circumvent them where possible.

Keep hope alive, have different goals for yourself as an individual. Get out and spend time with others, eat, drink, laugh and make merry. Create an oasis in your place and practice basking in the wonderfulness of it all. Embrace feeling sorry for yourself sometimes. We are humans and that happens. Don’t dwell in that place though because we are more than our single status.

The Blessing of Singleness

If you dwell on it singleness may feel like an albatross around your neck, forever dragging you down into the pit of despair.

All the social media platforms show everybody else finding love, dating, marrying, having babies and living life. It is easy to get so wrapped up in the life of others that you cultivate lack instead of nurturing joy.

Single people of whatever age please, let us be joyful and happy. Life is brief and we have so much to be thankful for. Stop, think and bask in the many blessings of singleness you enjoy. I know there are single people in different circumstances. Some may believe life would be better if they were in a relationship. This may or may not be the case. Celebrate where you are now.

If you have the financial means to do so and want to travel, research and go travel solo. This is something I am blessed to do and will share more about.

Volunteer at church, different organizations, mentor some youths and use your time to serve your community. This is a great blessing to others and yourself.

Another blessing of singleness for those without children is being able to go to bed whenever you want and also sleeping in. This is blissful! Don’t take it for granted.

Remember all the times when you just get up and go do whatever you want. Yup, that’s another blessing of singleness.

We are programmed to believe, that if we don’t get married by a certain age our lives are less than or that we are worth less than others. Shake that off and carve out a life that is joyful and fulfilling.

I believe it is important, to be hopeful to meet my God ordained spouse, while enjoying my time of singleness. Enjoying knowing yourself more and more, building skills, forming relationships and immersing yourself in worthwhile experiences.

As singles we are blessed and being content while waiting is a blessing.

Single Christian navigating online dating

Here I am on another round of trying to meet ‘the one’ online.

Oh! A Christian online dating site, how exciting I think and swiftly create a profile. The joke is on me it seems. As I comb through profile after profile I see no one in my suggestions repping Christ. I am not judging but you would think that something in the river of text in these profiles, would give their stance on their faith.

Here comes a nice chap. He is eloquent and frank about his interests. I admire that. I cut to the chase and ask about his faith. No, he isn’t actively pursuing Christ but he wants a Christian girl. As a result of this I naturally had to ask him why. It was clear that he wants all the benefits of the ‘good’ church girl. He has no plans to get to know the one who sanctifies her, it seems. That was that. He is handsome but I want a man actively pursuing Christ to live this life with.

Am I picky? For some folks I might be. But aren’t we picky about everything else though: education, clothes, food, housing etc.

Carrying the Peace of Singleness into Marriage

This is my goal. I know it is attainable and I am waiting purposefully and excitedly to see this come to fruition. I am 39, soon to be 40, in August.

I used to be anxious and fearful of being single forever. It’s not because I want a passel of kids interestingly. For a long time it was a box to tick off and move on with life. I ticked the box with two degrees and a good job so it is the next logical step. Alas, God is writing my story so I remind myself to live life fully as is.

I have dabbled in dating online on and off over the last few years. I go to Christian sites because a committed Christian man is who I will form a covenant with. With this in view, I am always shocked at the number of non-Christian men who hang out on these sites. They are loads of pretty words to pepper their conversations. It is so easy to fall prey to these in those moments of doubt and even desperation. I stay in prayer while engaging with different guys on online dating sites.

I am being vigilant about ensuring that the peace I have now in ‘singlehood’ is the same in marriage. It’s tempting to settle. Then I remember this.

I also remind myself that they God I serve is able to do so much more than I can imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

Christian Singles be wise when dating online

Test the fruit of the individuals you are talking to. Look into the words they use and what they omit. Pray without ceasing because I feel like this is a foothold that can just cause our peaceful lives to become a mess. Look beyond the outer appearance, ask God for discernment. Keep reminding yourself that you are a whole person, you are not incomplete because you are single. We are enough and living worthwhile lives even as we desire to be married.

In addition, tamp down those pheromones and don’t jump to chat or even meet offline. Give it some time and see if he or she continues to be consistent. Also, find someone who is close to you offline who you can share with. This person can help to keep you accountable. Let us guard our emotions closely and don’t allow them to lead us wildly after every smooth talker.

Christian Online Dating Sites are not Safe Havens

This is something we all need to remember when we sign up for these sites with these tag lines. They are populated with men who are actively pursuing Christ and genuinely interested in marriage. They are also populated with deceivers who are looking for hookups and only a good time. They are also populated with conmen and women looking to fleece us of our hard earned cash. Proceed with a healthy dose of skepticism, open-mindedness and patience.

There are days when no one looks at your profile. Then there comes the flood. I try not to let it consume my time. I am on for around 30 minutes each day then I get on with my life. For me, it’s an avenue to put myself out there since I live in a country with few Christians.

I am expectant, wary and hopeful all at once. Let’s proceed with caution and take care of ourselves as we put ourselves out there.