Tag Archives: advice

Slow Growth is Growth, Go at your OWN Pace

We all have dreams and goals as well as aspirations. There is nothing wrong with having lofty ones as well as small safe ones. We also want to accomplish or fulfil these at specific points. Unfortunately, life often has different twists and turns that may mess with our timelines. This means that we may not be where we thought we would be and certain points. As a result, we may feel disappointed and even lose motivation sometimes. What do we learn at these times?

Even when we do not meet certain goals on our timeline we are growing. It may not be in the way we envision and we may not be ticking off the goals we want to, when we want to, but…

How about other positive things that are happening that are helping you to mature and be a better you?

What can we learn through reflection about things that do not happen on our timelines? Embracing this is a part of growing. Something as simple as being flexible and changing how you view that situation is beneficial.

Remember to go at your own pace and remind yourself of this, when you feel like you are not where you want to be. Each person has his or her own journey. It’s so easy to forget this from time to time amidst expectations set out by society, family friends and even yourself. Give yourself a break. Applying that mindset when needed is a a part of personal growth.

Be on guard about mapping your timeline based on what others are doing or have done at a certain time. They are not you. You are not them. There is much growth in moving forward amidst disappointments and the unexpected events that delay dreams and goals coming to fruition.

There are some things that you can accomplish by yourself just by being disciplined and working hard, yes. There are others though that you can’t control – even though some people tend to differ on this. I am talking specifically about finding a committed partner for marriage and the ability to have kids and do so at a particular time or at all. It’s best to be open-minded and live life fully. Unfortunately, many people allow these disappointments to take away from the beauty of their lives.

My growth and the pace at which I grow looks different from everyone else’s. That’s life. Focus on finding another way to accomplish a dream. Embrace singleness, being childless or adopt a child (I know this sounds simplistic but getting into this mindset brings so much peace).

If you get nothing else from my diatribe, remember slow growth is still growth. Keep going and learn to be content where you are as you plot about how to move forward. Go at your own pace. This is something I remind myself of often. We all do well to remember this.

How to Budget, Organise your Money and a live a Financially Healthy Life

Change how you view and spend money

If we earn more than we need for the necessities we should be saving consistently. This is sometimes a struggle for some people because of the relationship they have fostered with their money.

It’s not enough to pay all the bills then spend what is left. Organising what is left after the bills are paid is a apart of living a financially healthy life. This is why having a budget and following it is important.

We are never too young to start saving for retirement.

We are never too healthy to save for illnesses.

We are never too securely employed to plan for rainy days.

Catch my drift? It often takes a mind shift to start budgeting, sticking to it and putting away money for the future (near and far). The money we earn is not merely to pay our bills and feed our temporary wants.

See what you earn as a necessary ingredient to help you attain different goals – debt free.

Organise your Budget in a way that gives you Freedom

Find what works for you.

Having a lean budget where all wants are not catered to does not work for many of us. It isn’t realistic.

Adjust savings targets for different goals as time passes or just because you want to.

Budget in your treats, the things that help you to live and enjoy yourself. A budget is not something to cause stress. For example, I budget for recreation every month because that is important to me. This may look like going out to eat with friends, doing so alone, going to an event and things of that nature.

Also put away something in the miscellaneous category because stuff comes up.

Reconcile your Budget as you Spend

Keep track of payments, all of them. Everything from gum to rent/mortgage. Line up all the items and check that what you plan for is what you are spending. This becomes habitual with time. I like to do this after paying each bill. I also use cash for things like groceries, lunch and utilities. I keep them in their own envelopes and return whatever is left after each transaction.

Using cash for some purchases may help to keep you on track. Some people use credit cards to get points I know. The goal should be to use it within the confines of what is budgeted and pay the sum off each month.

Develop the Habit of Saving

You truly pay yourself from what you earn by putting aside some money into savings. Each amount you add to your savings, helps you to develop this healthy habit of saving. This habit contributes to a financially healthy life. As I said in the opening, if you earn more money than you need to cover the necessities, savings should be a priority. Budget for savings.

At first it might be frustrating and if you are a spender you may be tempted to just use it all. A good way to motivate yourself is to have a list of short term and long term goals. Write down a desired amount to save over a period of time. Make it something like a challenge for yourself. You can put this on a poster or app and have countdown each pay period. I believe that once you start meeting different gaols you will become addicted to this practice.

Budgeting is something to talk about with families, friends and others. Share the value of this habit and help others to live financially healthy lives.

Don’t Get Caught up in Social Media and Lose Yourself

How many times do you watch a Youtuber share an item and find yourself searching somewhere online for it? I have even gone into a store looking for said item.

I have gone down many a rabbit hole and wasted money because someone or a number of people spoke glowingly about a product. To be fair I have also had good recommendations.

They key is to know what is useful and to ignore the rest. This isn’t easy because many of us humans are visual people. Yep, this can affect us without us really even being aware of it.

I mean we may become uncomfortable with our bodies, our wardrobes, our jobs and so on and so forth. I think this is a major issue for young teens, who are trying to find their identity. It also affects us adults because we all want to present our best selves out in the world.

We must remember to guard ourselves and not lose who we are amidst the trends and influencers on the different social media platform. Unhappiness with who we are and what we look like among other things, can creep up on us and overwhelm us.

This is also true for those of us who create content through blogs, videos, photos etc. It is easy to get caught up in doing what other successful creators in our niche do, just to chase success. Remember why you started and keep reminding yourself.

Would I like to make money from blogging? Of course!

Is this the only reason I blog? Of course not!

Will I learn from others to showcase my pieces better? Probably

Success for me with this blog means posting regularly and editing posts. It’s true, that’s enough for now and probably for a very long time. This is freedom for me because I have a job that offers me a salary that covers my needs, wants and whims. Moreover, I love said job and serving my students.

When I look at my blog stats and see only a few people read my blog and fewer comment, I sometimes catch myself getting anxious for more. I then mentally smack myself into remembering my goal (see above).

Social media is great. The different platforms offer so much to both creators and viewers. I like that we have so much to choose from and that so much knowledge is being shared.

We would do well to remember to carefully monitor and manage what we take in and reflect on how it affects us negatively. It’s important not to lose ourselves through what we consume and over consume on social media platforms. Remember most people only show a perfect snapshot of themselves to craft that narrative for viewers. Proceed cautiously.

These Responses to Someone in Crisis do More Harm than Good

“That’s so sad.”

“Oh my God!”

“I am so worried for you.”

“That’s awful.”

“I feel bad for you.”

“That’s horrible.”

“I feel your pain.”

I am sure there are others. Saying this to someone sharing his or her struggles and hardships is actually very insensitive. Sadly, this is often an automatic reaction. It is very discouraging when it comes from someone you are close to.

Give someone a hug, rub his or her shoulders, be still with them and let them lead.

Some people are too quick to mouth off without allowing their brains to process the context.

If someone is grieving the last thing he or she wants to hear is how you feel. Learn how to be there for others while tamping down your feelings? Ask them how you can help and listen.

I know we all feel helpless in times of crisis and just want to soothe our loved ones. Sometimes silence is golden.

Have you ever shared some really devastating news with someone and hear him or her blurt out something that just adds to your hurt? It’s just awful and instinctively you just want to get away from that person and avoid them.

It’s a good reminder to assess a situation and to think well before we speak.

Some hurt can’t be soothed with words. This is why I like just hugging someone going through a hard time and just being there.

Be encouraging by say things like the following:

“Let me pray with you.”

“I am here for you.”

“How can I help you?”

Don’t be that person who blurts out something just to say something when someone shares his or her problems with you.